I'M GONNA BE 59 YEARS OLD THIS SEPTEMBER!
Crap! I'm practically over the hill ! No wonder it's hard to take this accumulated fat off!
I'M NEARLY 60 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whaaaaaaa !
OK, So if I've got to get old (which is inevitable) I might as well laugh about it .....
So here goes ....................
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~ Your kids are becoming you ... and you don't like them ... but your grandchildren are perfect!
~ Going out is good. Coming home is better!
~When people say you look "Great ... they add "for your age!"
~When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything ... movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.
~You forget names ... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you !!!
~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds!
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything ... especially golf.
~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.
~The things you use to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really care that you don't care to do them anymore!
~Your spouse sleeps better on a longe chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep".
~Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underware in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!
~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married ... Now, I hope they STAY married!"
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch ...
~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ... were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.
~You used to use more 4 letter words ... "what?" ... "when?"
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.
~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
~What use to be freckles are now liver spots!
~Everybody whispers!
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ... 2 of which you will never wear.
~ But old is good in some things: old songs and old movies and best of all ... Old Friends!


























