THINGS ARE IMPROVING

I got up on Tuesday morning after having a hard time sleeping, as Mom has been on my mind a lot!! When we went to bed Monday night, she was upset with me and I cried as I stood outside her bedroom listening to her prayer. She thanked Heavenly Father for her welfare and said she was sorry Laverne was upset with her (which I am not) because she won't go the the home. She again asked to come home.  So hard to hear and yet when it does happen, it will be such a blessing for her.  She got up Tuesday morning and I had her breakfast ready for her. She was eating so I went to dress for the day. Tony and I sat down to eat our breakfast and he was blessing our food and Mom starts saying "Laverne, Laverne"   Tony quickly finished and she said, "I know your blaming me for not going to the home! I told you I'd go and look at it but I didn't tell you I'd stay"!  I just smiled at her and finished my breakfast.

Once she was in her chair, I gave her the letter telling her WHY she can't be left alone.  She had a frown on her face but as she continued reading, her face softened. Then she picked up Wendy's and scanned it over and then Ricks. Then I wrote on the dry erase board,

"Mom, tell me what your thinking, lets talk"

She just looked at me and said "I guess I'll go"   Then I continued to converse with her and tell her how much we all love her. We know change is hard but she is a strong woman and she will adapt. I told her this is so hard for all of us and we wished we didn't have to do this but we are all getting older and we just can't continue to care for her ourselves.  We just had a nice visit. I told her I was sorry I was the one who had to tell her and she said "I guess someone had to!"  It was funny!  Then she said, "Well, we'd better get packing"!  I told her I would make her room as familiar to her as I could so I asked her what pictures she wanted. She picked out several. Then we went to her closet and picked out some pants. Then to her dresser and we picked out shirts. I got out her PJ's and said I would wash them and she could wear a pair she doesn't want to take. Charcie ordered her a new pair just like the ones we are taking. We got under wear and a few personal items and then I told her we'd done enough for the day. She went to her chair and rested and knit. It ended up being a great morning. Mom is thinking Celestial! 

Tony and I started packing some things for her. We took all the  oatmeal, prune juice, and crackers that we'd just ordered and boxed them up. We really don't need to because Alexandra will do all the food purchasing but, we thought we would take the items we just bought. Then Tony and I packed some things of our own. Just getting prepared for the big trip on Saturday.

Tony finished his puzzle and then boxed  it up and boxed up the new puzzle board for the trip home. I did some laundry and now we won't do anymore till we get home. Tony booked us a room in Pendleton for Saturday night as we don't know how long it will take us to set up Mom's things on Saturday and then say our good byes!  I am not looking forward to that! It is going to be so hard! I'm almost positive, it will be the last time I see her alive. 

This is certainly how I have felt lately! My nights have been so hard because I have the monitor on, so I can keep an eye on Mom. It picks up any little movement and I hear her. Last night she had knocked her water container off the nightstand. She kept feeling around for it and finally got out of bed to find it and use the potty. (I can't see her there but I can tell by her white hair that that is where she is. She finally got back to bed and she was out the rest of the night.